Mario Kart 64 Drinking Game

FLASHBACK!  Let's turn a good thing into a great thing.  Let's start with taking a fantastic game like Mario Kart 64.  This game has survived the test of time and then some.  I spent hours playing this as a kid, and guess what?  I still play this game over my damn xbox360 oven box.  It's so simple, yet you still need the skill of Jimmie Johnson on crack, and obviously a shit ton of luck.  (I really hate that lightning bullshit, unless I have it).

Now let's make this game great.  How else to do that, like everything else, let's ad some booze!  There you have it! The Mario Kart drinking game.  I really hope I'm not sharing this to you for the first time... But if I am and you have no idea how to play, I supposed I can rattle off a few rules once you get out from under that ugly rock.


Mario Kart Drinking Game
1. Pour a beer into a glass (Or drink outta the can champ! Do whatever the fuck you want, I don't know you. I couldn't care less).
2. Grab a controller (What are you an idiot? Don't just sit there ugly, grab a controller).
3. The goal is to finish your drink before the end of the race. (Obviously, if you aren't first, then the game is rigged and I'm done playing).
4. The twist... Whenever you are drinking, you cannot touch the controller.
5. That's it. (Probably unnecessary to have made a fifth rule).

Some strategies are that whenever you are hit by something, you should drink due to the fact you are already taking a turtle shell to the grill.  My favorite, however, is to just pound as much as I can right when that turtle floating on the cloud says "Go." (Honestly though, what the hell is that thing? A turtle on a cloud?  Did someone put something in my beer...)

WARNING: This game may get hostile from the start.  First off, if you pick Luigi, I swear I will shove this controller so far up your ass you will taste it...and it tastes like sweat and old Cheetos.
Also, when sober, and someone hits me with a shell at the end of the race, my response may be something as follows.  "Haha, dang! I was so close!"
Now get a few drinks in me and the outcome may be a little more like, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME, I WILL BURN YOUR DAMN HOUSE DOWN! NO ONE HERE LIKES YOU! YOU'RE ADOPTED ANYWAYS ASS FACE!"

You see the other side of people.  It's enlightening.

Alright, enjoy.