Labatt blue... Fuck you

Well...its about 9 in the morning...want to get this weekend started off right.  Fuck yeah let's get a keg! Tap that shit....tap it real good... snag that beautiful red cup, pump the shit out of that thing like you're that smelly kid that dropped outta highschool at the gas station pumpin my gas every Thursday.

Take that first sip and....what the Fuck...did someone drink gasoline and piss in my mouth?

No..it's Labatt blue...and you suck.  What drunk idiot created you and decided you were good enough to sell to people...should be illegal, fuckin Canadians eh??

Welp, at least it gets the job done... Here's to a kick ass weekend...

Smell ya later

Mario Kart 64 Drinking Game

FLASHBACK!  Let's turn a good thing into a great thing.  Let's start with taking a fantastic game like Mario Kart 64.  This game has survived the test of time and then some.  I spent hours playing this as a kid, and guess what?  I still play this game over my damn xbox360 oven box.  It's so simple, yet you still need the skill of Jimmie Johnson on crack, and obviously a shit ton of luck.  (I really hate that lightning bullshit, unless I have it).

Now let's make this game great.  How else to do that, like everything else, let's ad some booze!  There you have it! The Mario Kart drinking game.  I really hope I'm not sharing this to you for the first time... But if I am and you have no idea how to play, I supposed I can rattle off a few rules once you get out from under that ugly rock.


Mario Kart Drinking Game
1. Pour a beer into a glass (Or drink outta the can champ! Do whatever the fuck you want, I don't know you. I couldn't care less).
2. Grab a controller (What are you an idiot? Don't just sit there ugly, grab a controller).
3. The goal is to finish your drink before the end of the race. (Obviously, if you aren't first, then the game is rigged and I'm done playing).
4. The twist... Whenever you are drinking, you cannot touch the controller.
5. That's it. (Probably unnecessary to have made a fifth rule).

Some strategies are that whenever you are hit by something, you should drink due to the fact you are already taking a turtle shell to the grill.  My favorite, however, is to just pound as much as I can right when that turtle floating on the cloud says "Go." (Honestly though, what the hell is that thing? A turtle on a cloud?  Did someone put something in my beer...)

WARNING: This game may get hostile from the start.  First off, if you pick Luigi, I swear I will shove this controller so far up your ass you will taste it...and it tastes like sweat and old Cheetos.
Also, when sober, and someone hits me with a shell at the end of the race, my response may be something as follows.  "Haha, dang! I was so close!"
Now get a few drinks in me and the outcome may be a little more like, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME, I WILL BURN YOUR DAMN HOUSE DOWN! NO ONE HERE LIKES YOU! YOU'RE ADOPTED ANYWAYS ASS FACE!"

You see the other side of people.  It's enlightening.

Alright, enjoy.

Greatest creation of all time?

What is this? I'll tell you what the hell it is... It's the modern day holy grail.  If you don't know what this unbelievable creation is, get off this page right now asshole and get a social life.  I dare you to find a rager in which this guest doesn't attend.  It's so simple and low-cost, in which it's brilliance shines.

How many memories do you have with this simple red cup that have been the best night of your life?  Actually, probably not many due to the fact that you were so shit-faced you couldn't even hit on that pretty girl you have been staring at all night... creep... and yeah, she noticed, ya douche.

I wanna know if Solo knew what they had in their hands at the time.  Was it, "Hey, let's make a cheap affordable plastic cup that people can enjoy at a get-together and fun occasion!" Or was it more along the lines of, "Let's fuck shit up."  I'll say it was along the lines of the latter.

Let's look at the positives.  You can drink out of it, you can stack it, you can play games with it, you can make a dumb ass little telephone out of it with a string to talk to the person that is 4 feet away from you, you can...uhh...drink out of it more...

All I'm saying is, whoever thought of this simple idea, should get a Nobel prize for whatever the hell this qualifies for.  I'm sure all of you reading this have one, or multiple, of these bad boys in your room right now... and if not, head to your closest shitty gas station, grab a 100 pack, and pour yourself a drink.  It's "College Classy."  I'll cheers to that.

DAYGLOW! ORONO! WEDNESDAY!

Went to Dayglow Panama City Spring Break this year... Gonna admit.. I don't remember a lot of it, but I mean that in the best way possible! From what I do remember I was having the best time I could possibly have while dancing to crazy techno music, rubbing against sweaty people that I don't know, and standing next to a speaker that blasted my eyebrows off...

This Wednesday, Dayglow will be gracing the state of Maine with it's insane paint party at the University of Orono.  For anyone who has never gone or even heard of it, GO! GET A TICKET IMMEDIATELY... You will regret it if you don't when all your friends, afterwards, are talking about all the crazy, trippy, mind blowing things that happened while having paint blasted, literally into their eyes while you sat at home and played xbox with 12-year-olds online...douche...

-TNT